I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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