I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
