I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
God I need to hump something, right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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