Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
