I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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