It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
