Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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