that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
