did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize