We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
