you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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