I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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