So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
