You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We smell like vodka and hangover
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
