And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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