He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
