I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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