I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
