News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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