Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
