the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
