Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
