Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
