Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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