at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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