How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
