ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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