with your own penis?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
