we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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