there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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