I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
