anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You left your phone here
Wait...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
