i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
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sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
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Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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