he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
