On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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