Buhtt sex?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
