I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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