I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
