1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
