A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
