Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
