Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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