I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
operation harelip BJ is a go
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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