Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Shame - the story of my life.
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