what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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