I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
