ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize