And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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