1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
