I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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