i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
