Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
