good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
