Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
