a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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