Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
