The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
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It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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