They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
