Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dating After Heartbreak
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic