i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.