Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

(419): View more from Ohio

I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(440): View more from Ohio

just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

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(915): View more from Texas

Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

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(320): View more from Minnesota

He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...

(320): View more from Minnesota

He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit

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