Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i think my tv is drunk

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  (860): i think my tv is drunk http://tfl.nu/pa05
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (609)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5476) Bad night (1013)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob

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  (570): I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob http://tfl.nu/rxex
  Replies (22) Good night (1110) Bad night (11855)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?

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  (248): guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop? http://tfl.nu/8g34
  Replies (22) Good night (6360) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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  (512): Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today. http://tfl.nu/jvq8
  Replies (8) Good night (2018) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2807) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh God.

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  (919): DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT??? (1-919): Oh God. http://tfl.nu/z02g
  Replies (20) Good night (4811) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.

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  (407): There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese. http://tfl.nu/1bs2
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert

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  (302): It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert http://tfl.nu/8dr2
  Replies (12) Good night (596) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

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  (212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.

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  (513): Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right. http://tfl.nu/n7uj
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

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  (360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?

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  (740): I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin? http://tfl.nu/l0iy
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (986): View more from

  He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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  (986): He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me? http://tfl.nu/140p
  Replies (11) Good night (262) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down

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  (952): Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down http://tfl.nu/721s
  Replies (2) Good night (158) Bad night (220)

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