I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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