i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
