ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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