i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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